How to Feel Safe and Secure in a Stressed-Out World

Is there any wonder why your sense of safety and security may be compromised today? 

The world is a tumultuous place. Tragic events, like school shootings, terrorist attacks, and rampant crime, have dominated the news, creating an unmitigated fear of an uncertain future.

In fact, we face challenges on all fronts—war, crime, the Covid pandemic, and national dissension are just a few of the many obstacles that can make us feel stressed out and overwhelmed.

But we're not only feeling the negative effects of problematic external forces; we often face more personal pressures as well.

The sources of stress that people commonly experience include:

- Work. Work-related stress can be caused by a lack of control, long hours and deadlines, lack of flexibility, job insecurity, or feeling undervalued or unappreciated.

- Personal relationships. Relationships can be sources of great joy and meaning in life, but they can also cause considerable stress if they are not going well. Disputes with loved ones can exact a toll on all aspects of our health.

- Money. Financial problems are common causes of stress for many people. Concerns about paying bills and making payments on time often cause sleepless nights for those who struggle with this problem.

- Health issues. Many people experience chronic pain or illness that is difficult to treat effectively, which may lead to feelings of frustration and hopelessness over their condition.

- Trauma from the past (e.g., childhood abuse). Trauma from the past can affect your life — from causing flashbacks and nightmares to making it difficult for you to trust others or enjoy relationships. Traumatized individuals often feel depressed, anxious, or angry; they may also have trouble concentrating and sleeping well.

- Feeling isolated and alone. Many people lack significant friendships and feel all alone. This sense of loneliness may intensify when a loved one dies, and severe bereavement sets in.

Internal sources of stress can creep up on us without ever being obvious to others. No one may know you lost your job last year or that your spouse died a few years ago or that you worry every night about whether your kids are safe at school, but those traumas can take their toll over time and make it harder to cope effectively with the stressors of daily life.

These stressful situations can have a significant impact on our emotional health. When we are constantly on edge and worried about our safety or the safety of our loved ones, it's hard to focus on anything else.

So, we're bombarded with external and internal challenges which undermine feeling safe and secure.

The primary purpose of this blog post is to offer effective strategies to feel better and less unsafe.

What Does it Mean to Feel Safe and Secure?

To feel safe and secure means to feel you can trust the world around you. It means trusting that your body is safe, that your mind is safe, and that your emotions are safe.

In a physical sense, feeling safe means feeling like there's no immediate threat of danger.

When you feel physically safe, you have a basic sense of security that you're not going to be in danger. You feel comfortable knowing you will have a place to live and that your basic needs will be met.

You don't have to worry about things like having enough food or clean water or getting treatment for sickness.

A sense of physical safety is crucial for feeling emotionally secure as well. When your body isn't in danger, it frees up your mind to pursue other goals and dreams.

When it comes to emotional safety, it is important to understand that there is always a risk of emotional harm in any relationship or situation. But you can also take steps to protect yourself from being hurt by others by setting boundaries for yourself or avoiding certain types of interactions altogether.

If you feel like the people around you are trustworthy and reliable, then your relationships will be healthier. 

Mentally feeling safe means knowing that nothing bad will happen to you because of what you think or believe. If you're worried about being judged for your political views or religious beliefs, then it might not feel you're mentally safe.

But if everyone around you accepts those views without judgment and treats them with respect, then it feels like they're respecting your mental sovereignty—the right to be yourself without fear of retaliation from others based on who they think you are as an individual.

Security is the concept of physical and psychological safety, which refers to a sense of confidence in knowing that you and your belongings will be secure.

Some people think it means having a healthy financial ledger, and a locked door with an alarm system to protect valuable belongings, while others might think it's the peace of mind gained from having nothing valuable to be stolen,

The idea of security goes far beyond simply having a secure location, as the state of being secure can also include feeling confident about your emotional state and feeling like you have a healthy support network around you.

Safety and security are strong human needs, and we must do everything in our power to fortify them. 

Why is it Important to Feel Safe and Secure?

Feeling safe and secure is essential to being able to live a full, high-quality life. We all want to know that we have a place where we feel comfortable and sheltered from the harshness of the world.

When we feel safe and secure in our homes, our workplaces, in our relationships with others and with ourselves, we can relax, focus, and be productive. We're not sidetracked with worry about real or imagined fearful events.

Creativity flourishes. When we are in an environment where we feel unsafe or threatened, our brains will shut down creativity and focus on survival. But when we feel safe and secure, our minds are free to explore and create new ideas.

When we feel safe, we become more mindful. We’re no longer scanning the environment for threats. We’re enjoying all the pleasures in the present moment that are happening around us — whether that’s driving down the road, reading a book, or having a conversation with someone. 

Feeling safe and secure is an important part of being happy and healthy, too.

When we feel safe, we can enjoy life and all its beauty. We can also explore our world and have fun. Safety gives us peace of mind and an optimistic mindset.

Intimate, trusting relationships thrive in a safe environment, too, where there is no fear of judgment or rejection. This is true for all types of relationships—romantic, familial, and platonic. When feelings of safety are present, individuals can relax and be their true selves.

In addition, having a sense of security encourages goal setting and decision-making, as we’re able to think more rationally when we feel emotionally stable.

If we don't feel safe and secure with ourselves, it's difficult to change our lives. We become obsessed with the "what ifs."

When our safety net shreds — because of adverse changes in our health, relationships, or finances — we feel insecure.

This can quickly spiral out of control and cause us to question everything we used to know about ourselves, resulting in anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

When we're scared, the fight-or-flight response is triggered: our muscles tense up and our heart rate increases as our body prepares us for action. It's a useful reflex in certain situations, but if it's activated by everyday stressors, it can take its toll on our health. 

We also lose sight of what matters most, and it becomes hard to regain this focus without help from others.

Twentieth century psychologist Abraham Maslow developed a hierarchy of needs that establishes a person's needs in terms of importance. He concluded that the most basic human needs are physiological ones—food, water, sleep—followed by safety, love and belongingness, esteem, and self-actualization. 

In order to function as an adult with competence and confidence in the world, one must feel safe.

What is the Difference Between Being Safe and Feeling Safe?

There is a difference between being safe and feeling safe. Some people can be in an unsafe situation but feel completely safe. Other people can be in a very secure situation but feel completely unsafe.

So, in many situations, it is the way you perceive and react to something that determines how safe or unsafe you feel. 

Feeling safe is an emotional response that relies on more than physical safety; it comes from a sense of security and a feeling of trust. Being safe, however, means you are secure. It is the state of being free from danger or injury.

While it is important to be safe in the sense of knowing how to avoid accidents and prevent situations that could be harmful, it is equally important to feel safe.

Feeling safe comes from a person's perception about the world around them, and how they are treated in that world. This perception can be altered by many factors, including the personal and cultural experiences of a particular individual.

For example, a woman who grew up experiencing sexual harassment or unwanted attention from men may feel threatened by any man walking near her on the street.

A couple who experienced financial hardship after having children may feel unsafe living in an area with a high poverty level, as they believe that there are more crimes committed against poor people than rich ones.

These situations may or may not affect the ability of these individuals to be physically safe, but they are affected by their perceptions that allow them to perceive certain situations as dangerous or frightening.

The three main factors that affect how a person feels are perception, control, and uncertainty. These factors play an important role in determining if a person feels safe or not.

If a person doesn't perceive there to be a threat present, they'll feel safer than if there's a threat.

When people have control over their surroundings, they’ll feel safer, too. This is because we all have an innate need to control our environment and situations around us.

The final factor affecting whether someone feels safe is the degree of uneasiness about what will happen next.

Obviously, it's crucial to feel safe and be safe ... and you can exert some measure of control when it comes to both.

How to Feel Safer and Secure - Follow These 11 Strategies 

1. When you're in the midst of an upsetting situation, it's difficult to remember that you deserve to feel safe.

Whether it's a person who's making you uncomfortable or a situation you're afraid of being involved with, your mind might be telling you that the reason it's happening is because of something you did or didn't do—that somehow, it's your fault. And when you're in that mindset, it's hard to feel safe.

You may think that the only way out is to change whatever has been triggering your fear or anxiety. But what if there were another way?

What if you could simply make a decision that nothing bad is going to happen? You may not believe this right away, but if you can truly let yourself feel safe, you're creating a positive self-fulfilling prophecy.

To make this decision for yourself, try these steps:

a. Close your eyes, inhale deeply in a slow, methodical manner, and exhale it out through your mouth, completely at ease. Repeat at least five times. Just by taking care of yourself in this way, you are already letting go of whatever may have been causing your fear.

b. Think about what makes you feel safe and secure—a place where the world feels good and where everything works out well. 

c. Envision yourself at ease where your body is completely loose, and you radiate a smile. You're embracing a happy, positive mindset, an antidote to fear. 

2. When you feel the need to protect yourself, your family or your assets, it's good to know how to assess the level of threat you're facing.

Make sure that your perception matches reality. What is the actual risk? Is it a big or small threat?

If you give in to fear and take reactionary measures that are not based on an objective assessment of the situation, you could end up making things worse for yourself.

The best way to address risk is by seeking information and putting that information into context in order to decide how best to act.

3. Although it's important to be aware of the risks you face in your daily life, it's equally important to avoid obsessing over worst-case scenarios.

It's easy to blow things out of proportion: we overestimate our chances of being involved in a serious accident or crime and underestimate our ability to cope with it if something untoward happens.

By placing too much focus on what could go wrong, we can become paralyzed with fear and lose sight of what really needs to be done in order for us to remain safe and secure.

4. Journal your fears on a piece of paper. As you write each fear down, think about why you have this fear. What does it mean? Is it rational? What would you tell a friend who had the same fear?

In most cases, fears are irrational or exaggerated. They are often based on an assumption that something bad will happen, even though we have no proof that it will. When we speak to our fears, they often appear smaller and less powerful than they did before we acknowledged them.

5. Positive affirmations can help you feel secure and safe. A positive affirmation can be any statement that is repeated over time, intending to create change.

Because this process is often done in your head, it's difficult to tell if the affirmations are effective. One way to determine if they are working is to test positive affirmations by simply saying something out loud.

If you repeat the positive affirmation to yourself, it is likely that you believe it on some level and that this belief will translate into feelings of security and safety.

A few examples of positive affirmations are “I am strong,” “Everything is going my way,” and “I have what I need.” You can create your own positive affirmations that fit your needs, but it’s best to keep them simple and specific so they will be easier for your brain to process.

To use positive affirmations, think about a situation where you feel unsafe or insecure (perhaps walking alone at night). Then repeat your affirmation aloud 5 times and see how you feel.

Repeat this exercise until you find that you no longer feel unsafe or insecure in this situation; then move on to another example of feeling unsafe or insecure until you have worked through each one in your life.

6. Visualize calming scenes amid inner turmoil. As a human being, you are wired to react to your environment. So, if you’re constantly in chaos, it’s going to be hard for you not to feel like a victim to that chaos. But there’s something we can do about that.

When your situation seems overwhelming, try visualizing a place or scenario that makes you feel safe and relaxed. By your thoughts drifting toward a safe place, you can use this technique to calm yourself down.

You may need to work at it for a while before the effect of this visualization becomes automatic in stressful situations. The more you practice this calming technique, the easier it will become and the more effective it will be when you need it.

7. It’s common for people to feel unsafe when they’re stressed—that discomforting expectation that something negative is going to happen. But, most times, that feeling of insecurity can be eased by finding people who are trustworthy and supportive.

In a time when there seems to be so much violence in the news, it's easy to become pessimistic about the state of humanity. However, those feelings of insecurity don’t have to translate into feelings of fear or isolation.

Surrounding yourself with the right people—those who not only believe in you but will celebrate your success—can make you feel safe and secure, even in challenging times.

Join an organization that shares your values, become a member of a club you have an interest in, or volunteer your time with a group of like-minded individuals.

You don’t have to be directly involved in a movement—just venture outside once in a while, find someone you trust and try to get to know them better.

At the same time, limit your time with toxic people who contribute to feelings of uneasiness. Whether it’s the relationship that’s draining your energy or the coworker who’s spreading gossip, sometimes you need to take a step back from a situation and look at the bigger picture.

You may create distance between yourself and these people or set boundaries with them for your own well-being. 

8. We live in a time when there are many real and frightening threats to our personal safety. There are also many sources of stress that we experience every day, but we can usually control how much attention we pay to them.

If you’re feeling anxious, it may help to take a break from some sources of stress in your life. Consider what things make your blood pressure rise, and then do your best to temporarily ignore them.

Some common sources of daily stress include:

- Relationship friction

- Grim news stories

- Financial troubles

- Work-related worries

- Health concerns

It’s important to remember that these issues don’t go away if you’re ignoring them—you have to confront them, eventually

But for now, try to limit your exposure to the most upsetting things in your life; one way to do this is by limiting the time you spend checking news sites or limiting your exposure to violent films, TV shows and video games.

Instead of letting yourself get trapped in an endless cycle of outrage about everything going wrong, lift your head out of the water for a second and focus on something else.

9. Feeling safe is an important part of living a fulfilling life. When your safety is threatened, it can affect your physical and mental health, as well as how you interact with others.

Here are some ways to feel safer through wise lifestyle choices:

- Sleep: Getting enough sleep can help you feel more alert and less stressed.

- Diet: Eating healthier foods will give you more energy and improve your mood.

- Exercise: Regular exercise helps reduce stress and anxiety, improves sleep quality and memory function, and boosts self-esteem.

- Meditation: Practicing meditation can help reduce anxiety, stress, depression, and pain by increasing focus on the present moment while reducing negative thoughts about the past or future.

10. Look for relaxing diversions. If you're feeling stressed, it can be tempting to try to "tough it out" and tough through your feelings. But sometimes, the best thing you can do is take a break—even if that means just taking a few minutes to walk around the block.

When you're feeling overwhelmed with stress, even a short walk can help you clear your head and refocus on what matters most.

Other healthy diversions include reading an all-engrossing book, listening to relaxing music, taking a warm bath or shower, and watching a funny movie. Look for any activity that foments relaxation and/or laughter, even if laughter is directed at yourself.

11. One of the best ways to feel safe is to spend some time in "healthy solitude."

Healthy solitude means spending some time alone with your thoughts, but not letting them turn negative.

Instead of thinking about how much better everyone else is at something than you are, or how much more successful they are than you, try turning those thoughts around—for example, by telling yourself that everyone has things they struggle with just like you do.

Spending time in healthy solitude will help keep your inner critic at bay so that when it comes time to tackle a project or face an obstacle, you'll be ready for whatever comes next, feeling safe in the process.

Final Words - Enveloping Yourself in Safety

The feeling of safety is deeply personal. For some people, their sense of security comes from the knowledge that they have a well-paying job, healthy children, and a wonderful spouse or partner.

For others, it may come from the knowledge that they live in an affluent neighborhood with low crime rates. Still, others feel entirely secure knowing that they are armed and ready to defend themselves or their property.

(Their sense of security can be enhanced by taking commonsense precautions, such as not walking in dangerous neighborhoods at night, keeping their house well-lit, installing an alarm system, refusing to answer the door when guests are not expected, and other such strategies.)

But no matter where your sense of security lies, it’s important to acknowledge that you can never feel 100% safe all the time, especially in our world today

However, as I've described above, there are ways to empower yourself, encourage feeling safer and more secure, and minimize runaway fear.

Feeling safe is a fundamental human right and a cornerstone of human need. It is imperative that we take every measure to ensure not only our physical safety, but protect our mental and emotional states, too.

Try to implement the above strategies to feel safer, more secure, and more in control of your life.